A Course
In Miracles

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LESSON 196

It can be but myself I crucify.

1. 1When this is firmly understood and kept in full awareness, you will not attempt to harm yourself, nor make your body slave to vengeance. 2You will not attack yourself, and you will realize that to attack another is but to attack yourself. 3You will be free of the insane belief that to attack a brother saves yourself. 4And you will understand his safety is your own, and in his healing you are healed.

2. 1Perhaps at first you will not understand how mercy, limitless and with all things held in its sure protection, can be found in the idea we practice for today. 2It may, in fact, appear to be a sign that punishment can never be escaped because the ego, under what it sees as threat, is quick to cite the truth to save its lies. 3Yet must it fail to understand the truth it uses thus. 4But you can learn to see these foolish applications, and deny the meaning they appear to have.

3. 1Thus do you also teach your mind that you are not an ego. 2For the ways in which the ego would distort the truth will not deceive you longer. 3You will not believe you are a body to be crucified. 4And you will see within today’s idea the light of resurrection, looking past all thoughts of crucifixion and of death, to thoughts of liberation and of life.

4. 1Today’s idea is one step we take in leading us from bondage to the state of perfect freedom. 2Let us take this step today, that we may quickly go the way salvation shows us, taking every step in its appointed sequence, as the mind relinquishes its burdens one by one. 3It is not time we need for this. 4It is but willingness. 5For what would seem to need a thousand years can easily be done in just one instant by the grace of God.

5. 1The dreary, hopeless thought that you can make attacks on oth­ers and escape yourself has nailed you to the cross. 2Perhaps it seemed to be salvation. 3Yet it merely stood for the belief the fear of God is real. 4And what is that but hell? 5Who could believe his Father is his deadly enemy, separate from him, and waiting to destroy his life and blot him from the universe, without the fear of hell upon his heart?

6. 1Such is the form of madness you believe, if you accept the fearful thought you can attack another and be free yourself. 2Until this form is changed, there is no hope. 3Until you see that this, at least, must be entirely impossible, how could there be escape? 4The fear of God is real to anyone who thinks this thought is true. 5And he will not perceive its foolishness, or even see that it is there, so that it would be possible to question it.

7. 1To question it at all, its form must first be changed at least as much as will permit fear of retaliation to abate, and the responsibility returned to some extent to you. 2From there you can at least consider if you want to go along this painful path. 3Until this shift has been accomplished, you can not perceive that it is but your thoughts that bring you fear, and your deliverance de­pends on you.

8. 1Our next steps will be easy, if you take this one today. 2From there we go ahead quite rapidly. 3For once you understand it is impossible that you be hurt except by your own thoughts, the fear of God must disappear. 4You cannot then believe that fear is caused without. 5And God, Whom you had thought to banish, can be welcomed back within the holy mind He never left.

9. 1Salvation’s song can certainly be heard in the idea we practice for today. 2If it can but be you you crucify, you did not hurt the world, and need not fear its vengeance and pursuit. 3Nor need you hide in terror from the deadly fear of God projection hides behind. 4The thing you dread the most is your salvation. 5You are strong, and it is strength you want. 6And you are free, and glad of freedom. 7You have sought to be both weak and bound, because you feared your strength and freedom. 8Yet salvation lies in them.

10. 1There is an instant in which terror seems to grip your mind so wholly that escape appears quite hopeless. 2When you realize, once and for all, that it is you you fear, the mind perceives itself as split. 3And this had been concealed while you believed attack could be directed outward, and returned from outside to within. 4It seemed to be an enemy outside you had to fear. 5And thus a god outside yourself became your mortal enemy; the source of fear.

11. 1Now, for an instant, is a murderer perceived within you, eager for your death, intent on plotting punishment for you until the time when it can kill at last. 2Yet in this instant is the time as well in which salvation comes. 3For fear of God has disappeared. 4And you can call on Him to save you from illusions by His Love, calling Him Father and yourself His Son. 5Pray that the instant may be soon,—today. 6Step back from fear, and make advance to love.

12. 1There is no Thought of God that does not go with you to help you reach that instant, and to go beyond it quickly, surely and forever. 2When the fear of God is gone, there are no obstacles that still remain between you and the holy peace of God. 3How kind and merciful is the idea we practice! 4Give it welcome, as you should, for it is your release. 5It is indeed but you your mind can try to crucify. 6Yet your redemption, too, will come from you.